Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Garbage?

It's sad when the highlight of your week is sneakily getting rid of your garbage in a commercial dumpster, something akin to how Dexter dumps bodies in the ocean. Oh, and beating a video game. I think I prefer life that way though. The past two weekends I have done nothing, really. Sat around, barely left my house, fun times. I had preservice on both Friday nights for our new foster parents. This past Saturday I went and saw TS and got to hold my friend's 3 week old daughter!

I've been talking to a girl for almost two months who lives in NH. I met her on eharmony which was sort of random considering I was very anti-meet-anyone-on-the-internet after the Mexico debacle several years back. I only got on there cuz Matt insisted I check it out. But we clicked and I'm heading out there in less than two weeks. I really haven't been saying much to people since my track record of failed relationship is currently running at 100%. She looks really young, like me, but is 5 months older. She is divorced with three kids, has an awesome personality and is beautiful. I'm driving 1000 miles to meet her so that says it right there.

The kids part doesn't bother me really; it's the ex-husband part that causes me worry. Whatever, God's got it under control. I done my best to get to know her. We've asked each other a million questions. I pretty much put her through a rigorous interview process, haha. Maybe I should focus on how far I've come from the person I used to be instead of all my current flaws.

I've actually reached point where I can go back and read something I've written and be impressed. Not that I'm going to get an ego but... one more step to a dream! I've been putting more time into it but it still needs more. I need a sabbatical.

Ok, peace out...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My Struggle

must be some mistake
'cause i'm not worth the price you paid
with every passing hour
i convince myself that you saw something in me
but i can hear them still
as the whispers laced with hatred fill the room
guess i'm wasting my time
how could you love a man like me

lord i need your strength
'cause i am weak and falling to my knees
who is on my side
'cause i can't tell my friends from enemies
filling up with pain
bitterness controls the air i breathe
what am i fighting for
do you have a plan for me

must be some mistake
'cause i'm not worth the price you paid
with every passing hour
i convince myself that you saw something in me
but i can hear them still
as the whispers laced with hatred fill the room
guess i'm wasting my time
how could you love a man like me

must be some mistake
'cause i'm not worth the price you paid

Monday, June 1, 2009

Countdown

3 weeks, 4 days... hmmmm...

will history repeat itself or will there be a surprising change?