My Hectic Life (riiiiiiiight)

As you can see, I'm very busy with lots of important things because I only post... daily. I just finished up about 20 some reports for the day and I have an hour left in the office.
Well, I have 15 kids but none of them are my own. Their "my" kids cuz they are on my caseload. I enjoy the older ones because of the conversations I can have with them and how it is much easier to relate to children who are close to adulthood. But the younger ones... some of them you want to squeeze and not let go because cute does not do them justice.

I would love to share details of how hilarious these kids are but confidentiality gets in the way of that. So I have all these awesome stories that I can only share with my coworkers.

I was going to go to a Halloween party tonight but when I mentioned it to my coworker who would also be attending with her boyfriend, she looked about as happy as she found out her whole family had died in a plane crash or something. I have no idea why but she probably gets sick of putting up with me 40 hours per week. Anyways, it would be me, the 30 year old, with a bunch of people in their early to mid 20s sooooo... count me out anyways. I'll sit at home and play some Fable 2 or Battlefield 2. After talking with Kristin, I might have to whip out my SNES since I haven't played that in awhile.

Being the only single person as well as the only male in the office, I don't give the females a break. I.E. Erinn has this erasable calendar that she carefully crosses off the days on and I always try and beat her to it and mark the days off in some original way. My last two I completely colored in the day on the calendar and the other one I crossed out with a Roman numeral X. Erinn also has this plant that comes straight from a South American jungle. Until I carefully manuevered it, it's leaves were branching over my desk and almost blocking my computer monitor. One day, I plan on moving it so that it replaces her computer chair in front of her desk.

Then there is Katie. Katie is the one who knows what she is doing so I usually have to be pretty nice to her. She used to split these supervised visits with me and the birth parents would always cancel on days she was going to do them. Well, now the roles have switched. She did a visit for me this month and it was utter chaos. But when I've done, they've been easy and the kids have been pretty good. My reasoning is that the kids just love me... :P

And then we have Marylin. She is 62 and just began using a computer about a year and a half ago. She'll lose hours of work cuz she didn't save or she'll get mad at her computer and growl and pound her desk. And the age jokes from me never stop. But she's a good sport and she throws them right out. She also tends to fart at different times. One day she had to bend over to look at some wires behind her computer and she squeezed one out. So Erinn tells the IT on the phone while I'm rolling around laughing. She also got married over the summer and her last name changed to Boy. So she tells everyone she is a boy now. She actually got some people before the wedding by saying that she was soon going to be a boy.

Oh, I gotta tell this story. One day we are all out at lunch. I think we were at Mia Ranchita in Lowell and we were talking about something, like foster parents getting their water tested or something. So Marylin means to say organisms in the water but organism becomes orgasm. We were all dying laughing. Yeah... those jokes went around for a while. And considering she was recently married didn't help either. We knew what was on her mind.

That's our fantastic office. Anyways... that's work... 4:30pm is drawing closer and it's Friday! WOOT! Okay... peace out...

Parsecs and Goblins

Ok, I gotta tell this story from last night. Wednesday nights are D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) nights. It's a horribly Satanic game, and by Satanic I, of course, mean it is harmless. The sad part is I always feel I have to defend myself cuz of the ultraconservative view on something people know nothing about. I don't defend myself when I mention playing video games or watching movies. But yeah... cuz of some nutjob Christians out there, people have this stigma. And I'm sidetracked, anyways... D&D is like a video game without a screen. Much more use of the imagination, I guess. But yeah, fun times.

So, Will is DMing (Dungeon Master, makes the story, runs the campaign) the game while Matt, Roberto, and I all play two characters. A good 1/3 of the gaming session consists of us burning each other and trying to top the others' your mom burns. Yes, very mature. Most of mine consist of something similar to the "your mom goes to college" retarded burn from Napoleon Dynamite. Matt is running a tiefling warlock and genasi swordmage, Roberto runs an elven cleric and eladrin wizard and I run a human rogue and human ranger.

Well, Matt, in his brilliant genius, made a comment about how he has to wait a parsec while I figure out what my characters are doing. Now, being the nerd that I am, I have to correct him and point out that a parsec is actually a measure of distance, like a light year, and not a measure of time. So I get ridiculed pretty bad for being such a fan of Star Wars and Star Trek. (I must point out here that Han Solo made the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs)...

Anyways... later on, Roberto in his mexican genius, makes a comment about how goblins must of wrote this scroll we found. There have been absolutely no goblins near us, we have not fought any goblins, so his comment made no sense so Matt and I are laughing so hard cuz he can't explain himself. I'm starting to cry, I'm laughing so hard at this point. So, I start saying sentences while replacing one word with parsec such as "I'm laughing so hard, I almost parseced in my pants"... and then we continued on for awhile. It was the end to a hilarious night and Will even pulled out a your mom burn.

The moral of the story is... I'm a huge nerd and probably shouldn't know what a parsec is. But I do... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsec

Also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_falcon

and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_and_dragons

I guess you had to be there... :P

The Clincher

Well, I'm at work and I can't concentrate at all. I have a ton of reports to do but I always get them done fairly quickly. It helps when you can type super fast. After having a great evening last night and actually getting out of my house for something other than work (and not to mention several engaging conversations, two with cute girls), I've realized what the clincher is...

...I basically need to just stop whining about my life, accept it the way it is, and do my best to live each for God, not for my own personal desires. It's not like life is bad though I do tend to focus on the negative, the dark side of things, the wrong. Life could be worse. I could be married to the wrong person instead of not at all, I could be making lots of money... and have cancer... it can usually get worse rather than better.

So... I just need to appreciate life for what it is. I won't be here forever. It's all just temporary anyways...

Meh

It is an extremely down time for me in life right now. Most people insist 30 is the new 21, 20, 18, 16 whatever but for me, it is definitely the milestone that marks the passage into adulthood, perhaps even the latter half of my life. For some reason I've always pushed for the next thing, the next job, the next relationship, the next step, the next video game, the next movie, the next day... since I've been focusing on my life and realizing that my anger for years was aimed at God when it was mostly my fault the way my life had turned out.

It's not that I'm still single, it's that I've had plenty of chances and for the most part, I screwed them all up. I've taken a look at it and as I stare back down the path, I see a list of girls who have gone on to meet the man of their dreams, marry, and have kids... one might argue that I just never met the right girl but I don't believe in that soulmate, hollywood mumbo-jumbo. What about the man who marries, his wife dies, and he marries again? Are they "both" his soulmates? Anyways, I'm digressing. My point being, based on pure numbers, the problem lay with me. And what would happen if I was given another chance? Not just a casual, dating relationship but a serious one with deep emotions involved? Maybe the next time I'll acknowledge the warnings and not shrug off the warning signs. So do I get another chance... or is it just too late anyways...

Then out of the questions to God about why I am not working a job I love, I again find the fault lies with me. The lack of a solid job history. I wrongly took the aspect of my personality that does not enjoy flawed authority, I've been through many jobs. That has changed now and I've been at two jobs for over a year now and will continue to do my best at either one. But carrying a college degree and still being at the bottom of the ladder after so long does not offer up much job satisfaction. After seeing my friends, my bro, all thriving in the business world and making outrageous amounts of money, nothing lowers your self-esteem by spending "big" and cashing out 50 dollars for a video game... while they buy houses and BMWs and Audis...

So I shut myself in my home, only coming out for work and church. My social life consists of playing video games and interacting with programmed AI with scripted dialogs. I occasionally get on ventrilo and chat with my clan mates. I still do D&D on Wednesday, maybe Lifeline on Tuesdays... but I keep distancing myself. I don't even want to talk to my parents. I'm really not trying to be overdramatic and I'm not wallowing in depression. I'm just addicted to escape.

And last, for most of us, we must accept the fact that we are nobodies. Except for the occasional individual who rises above the rest due to intelligence, athleticism, research, or what have you, we won't even be a blip on the timeline when we pass away. We are unimportant... except for God...

...and in the end, it's all meaningless...