The World Revolves Around Me

I don't really blog anymore. Mostly because my life is just too awesome to put into words on the internet. And I can't help it if the world revolves around me. I fought it for years but then the results came back and I tested positively for being the center of the universe.

A 2 year old recently told me I was too big to roll the ball too as I sat across from her. I told her comments about my weight were unnecessary and rude and she needed to do some serious thinking about the direction her life was taking.

My credit card balance is zero. This was not due to payments that I was making but because I ran into Captiol One's CEO and the power of my charisma forced him to delete all money that I owed on my credit card. My card also changed from platinum to Center of the Universe status in my wallet later that night.

I haven't had alcohol in many months. That is because the only thing that can get me drunk is Mountain Dew.

I no longer have to go to the bathroom as my body is "Green". It uses alternative fuels and produces no waste.

Every song by The Sword was written about my accomplishments and yes... I did slay the spider priest.